Thank you for tuning in to the One Ticket Please coverage for the first week of The Game of Game of Thrones!
For a quick primer on how the game works, it’s pretty simple. Similarly to other fantasy sports leagues, teams are drafted, and points are awarded when certain actions are completed. However, instead of drafting athletes, we are drafting the warriors and royalty that inhabit Westeros. As far as scoring goes, characters earn points when they participate in acts of violence, sex, or intrigue. Basically, instead of sacking a quarterback our characters are sacking cities. Whichever team has the most points at the end of the season wins. But no matter who wins, we all still are losers for even participating in this insanity.
So let’s go ahead and meet the teams!
Emerging from the most reputable brothel in King’s Landing we have Baelish’s Bailiffs. Owned by fellow One Ticket Please writer, Eric. M., and touting the like of Sansa Stark, The Hound, and namesake Petyr Baelish, the Bailiffs will be scheming and slaughtering in equal parts on their quest for points.
Next, the combined force of Daenerys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister, and Arya Stark create a roster as strong as their team name is harsh, Bran’s Legs will have a heavy influence in the future of the Seven Kingdoms.
Uniting on their march for total domination, the Queen and King of Cold, Cersei Lannister and The Night King come together on team Ned’s Dead. Where there is death, points are soon to follow.
For the fourth and final team in the One Ticket Please league we have my team of misfits and literal outcasts. Teaming up to show the world their worth Jon Snow, Jaime Lannister, and disease ridden Jorah Mormont make up The Valyrian Steelers.
Most Valuable Player – Week 1
This week’s Fantasy Game of Thrones MVP award goes to cold-blooded killer/revenge artist, Arya Stark. Returning from Braavos as a renegade assassin, she ended last season by dicing Walder Frey’s sons into a meat pie and serving it to him on a plate right before slitting his throat. Hot Pie would be so proud.
This season opens with Arya, donning Walder’s death mask (she gets points here for using magic) and hosting a last supper of sorts for the rest of the Frey clan. Thankfully our league features a point cap on murders per scene as poisoned wine slays the remaining Freys. Mix in some hard hitting one-liners, a few bites of rabbit shared with Sheeran, and Arya Stark handily climbs to the top of the scoreboard.
Bran’s Legs: 195 points
Baelish’s Bailiff’s: 70 points
Ned’s Dead: 35 points
The Valyrian Steelers: -10 points
Arya Stark’s annihilation of House Frey before the opening credits sends Bran’s Legs sprinting into an early lead. Meanwhile, Samwell Tarly’s demotion to slop boy at the Citadel puts my Valyrian Steelers immediately into the red.
For a better understanding of the points awarded check out this article written by the Points Master of the entire Game of Game of Thrones league.
Interested in starting your own league? Join in on the fun right here!
See you next week!